A good day

A good day for me is one with pain at less than a 3. I had very little pain today, not even needing a single Ibuprofen!

I was diagnosed back in 1991 after many visits to a chiripractor, massage, accupressure, accupunture and my regular DO. The chiropractor first mentioned the word, which didn't mean much to me, and set me up with a rhumotologist. Finally, I had a name for the group of symptoms, which was a good start. The rhumotologist prescribed one of many drugs I would be on over the next several years. I can't even remember all of the drugs I tried; I'm drug sensitive, and many of the drugs I couldn't take. Call me vain, but some of the drugs I stopped taking were because of the weight gain. Some made me dizzy, some contributed to my ever-increasing problems getting sleep, and some gave me hallucinations.

I found that when I was "flare" that I just couldn't get to go away, a visit to my DO for a bit of manipulation would quite likely ease the pain in my head. I began missing more and more days of work (I was an office manager in a small company); I even took a sleeping bag and pillows and would nap in my office! I had a very understanding boss who would rather have me at work, even if it meant I closed my door and turned out my light every afternoon for an hour. I was also going to school two night a week to get an associates degree in Paralegal.

Eventually I went to work for a 2-lawyer firm, doing personal injury cases, which I found both fascinating and disturbing. I worked there for almost three years before I just had to throw in the towel. I was in nearly constant flare-ups, depressed, not sleeping and was just plain miserable. I decided that it just wasn't worth the pain for me to hold a job anymore. I had been missing a day a week and my boss was pretty upset, although he really did try to be understanding.

It was a hard decision; I was used to having my own money; now I had to rely on my husband, who had taken a lower-paying, but more-rewarding job. Fortunately, we had no mortgage on our home and only one car payment. Our children were all out of the home so it was just us.
I applied for disability and was turned down, which I expected. I appealed; eventually they sent me for some mental testing and turned me down again. I won on my final appeal; I had an attorney, who barely said a word, but I won! It look nearly 18 months to finally get a check, but the first one was BIG! Along with a monthly check, I was also eligible for Medicare.

So now, I take one day at a time. I don't make too many plans; I have to wait until I get out of bed in the morning to see what I can take on. Somedays, I get up, eat breakfast, take my Cymbalta and Darvocet and go back to bed on the heating pad.

I am SO thankful for my husband; he does all the housework, with the exception of dishes. He's understanding when I just don't feel like fixing dinner. I am truly blessed; I don't know what I would do without his love and support.

So, today was a good day. Tomorrow, I hope will be another. I have found the single most importand thing for dealing with my pain is realizing that it's not terminal. I'd take fibro over cancer,diabetes or AIDS anyday. The pain serves to remind me that Jesus suffered agony that I don't even want to imagine--pain lets me know I'm still alive! A positive attitude is a MUST!

Thanks for tuning in!
Linda